by sidewinder (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Summary: Well, it had to happen. My take on the whole
'one of the guys is pregnant' discussion on the list
Category: humor, romance
Rating: S for atrociously silly!
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. They'd
probably disown me after this story anyway. Knocked
it out (or should I say knocked it up) in about an
hour. Mistakes are my bad.
Feeback: sure, tell me how crazy I am.
Qui-Gon stood before the assembled council members,
his padawan close at his side.
"You wished to speak with us?"
"Yes," Mace Windu answered. Studying Qui-Gon closely,
he asked, "How are you feeling, Master Jinn?"
The unexpected question caught Qui-Gon off-guard for a
moment, then he answered, "Fine, Master."
"Went to the healers, yesterday you did," Yoda said.
"Yes, I...my stomach was upset. Nothing serious, I can
"That is not what they have just told us," Windu added.
"Apparently there were some...abnormalities in their
test results, which they did not understand until today."
Yoda cut to the chase: "Pregnant, you are, Qui-Gon
Qui-Gon blinked. He felt Obi-Wan's shock hitting him
like a bolt of Force-lightning, but he suppressed a
similar reaction and responded calmly, "If you will
excuse my questioning these results, I did not think
such a thing was...physiologically possible."
"Neither did the healers. Which is why they want to
see you both for some further tests, to confirm this
and determine how such a thing has happened."
"Yes, of course." Qui-Gon stood there silently for a
moment. "Is there anything else?"
"Not for the moment. We will be monitoring your
condition closely, and with great interest," Windu
answered. "May the Force be with you."
Neither master nor padawan said a word as they left
the council chambers and walked to the lift. As the
door whooshed shut behind them, Obi-Wan whirled to
face his master and exclaimed, "PREGNANT?!"
"So it would seem."
"But how is that possible?"
"That's what I'd like to know."
Obi-Wan paced in front of him and accused, "You're
being infuriatingly calm about this."
"What reason is there to be upset? It is a curious
thing, certainly, but if this is the will of
the Force, then I will accept it."
"We'll see if you're still saying that nine months
from now when it comes time for the delivery," Obi-
Wan remarked. "The tests have to be wrong. A human
male can't get pregnant!"
"The Force has been known to allow many seemingly
'impossible' things to come about, Padawan.
Stranger things have happened."
Qui-Gon thought for a moment. "Well, nothing comes to mind
immediately but I'm sure they have."
The lift stopped on the healer's level and the two men
stepped out into the corridor. "Is it our child, do
you think?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Who elses' would it be?"
"Well if the Force put it there, it could be
Qui-Gon focused and reached out with the Force, trying
to sense the life he was told was growing inside him.
Sure enough, he felt a gentle response, a small pulse
in the Force that was like an echo of himself...but
also of another, one whom he knew well. "No, it is
definitely, somehow, our child, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan gave him a curious glance at his announcement
but said nothing more about it. In fact, they had
little chance to say anything at all to each other
for the next several hours, as medtech droids and
curious healers swarmed about them, asking questions,
running tests, poking, prodding, and generally making
terrible nuisances of themselves. In the end, the healers
knew little more about Qui-Gon's condition than they
had before and remained utterly baffled. The Jedi were
both glad when they were finally allowed to return to
their quarters and spend some time trying to come to
terms with this unexpected event.
"A baby." Obi-Wan placed his hand over his master's
stomach as they sat together on the sleep couch. His
eyes widened after a moment and he exclaimed, "There
really is a baby in there!"
"Indeed there is, Padawan."
"I can feel him...or her...I can't tell... This is so
bizarre. I never really thought about being a father
"And how do you feel about it now?"
"Just...surprised. I suppose I'll get used to the
idea." He looked up at his master and gave him a wide
grin. Qui-Gon knew that particular grin usually meant
trouble. "Bloody hell, you're glowing!" Obi-Wan said
with a laugh.
"Glowing. I always heard that people who were
pregnant got this 'glow' about them. Never believed
it until now." He reached up to tangle his fingers in
his master's hair and added, "It's terribly sexy, you
"Oh yes, very." Obi-Wan shifted so that he was sitting
on his master's lap, hands massaging his shoulders.
He leaned in closer and whispered, "Incredibly sexy"
before claiming his lover's lips for a lingering
kiss. Qui-Gon felt his padawan's love, pouring into
him through the kiss, his touch, his reassurance that
as bewildering as this turn of events was, it would
not change anything between them...
Qui-Gon opened his eyes. Disoriented, he found himself
lying in bed, daylight streaming in through the
windows. His head hurt, his mouth was dry, and he
felt feverish and achy all over. "Obi-Wan?"
"Here, Master." Obi-Wan settled on the sleep couch next
to his master, touching his forehead gently and
looking down at him with a worried frown. "No more
Anrian Sweet Wine for you. You had a bad reaction to
it last night almost as soon as we left the reception.
Do you remember?"
Dimly, Qui-Gon recalled a dinner reception...something
involving entertaining several visiting diplomats who
were donating a significant endowment to the Jedi
"Yes, well, the healers say you're not the only one
who's knocked for a loop today, thanks to the
diplomats' 'gifts'. Apparently the Anrians forgot to
mention their distilled spirits tend to be suitable
only for those with the strongest constitutions. You
still feel hot; this should help." Obi-Wan offered
him a cup of cool mint tea, which he sipped gladly.
"You're to take it easy today, until you're feeling
better and this fever goes away."
"I will. I'm not feeling inclined to go anywhere at
"Is something else wrong?"
"Nothing. Just a dream I had while I was asleep. Must
have been from the fever."
"No, hardly. It was just...very unusual."
Obi-Wan slipped under the light blanket and settled in
against Qui-Gon, offering love and healing energy in
his embrace. "Well, since you're not going anywhere,
I think I'll stay here for a while as well, if you
"Never," Qui-Gon answered, sighing at the pleasant
feeling of his lover's body close to his own.
A dream...that was all it was. Impossible to be
Still, he had to admit he felt a touch of regret to
know that was all it had been. He loved Obi-Wan more
than anything, and the thought that their love could
have produced a child, against all logic and laws of
Well, it was a pleasant dream to hold onto, even if
it could never really happen.
Qui-Gon brushed his hand through Obi-Wan's hair. "Do
you believe in miracles?"
"Of course." He lifted his head and with a smile said,
"Ever since the day you told me you loved me, I
Qui-Gon smiled back at his padawan, and decided that
he, too, believed.