Title: Everything In Its Time (Part 2/??)
By sidewinder (sidewinder@fanfiction.net)
Please see Part 1 of
this story for full headers, disclaimers, etc.
***!!!BIG LAST CHANCE WARNING!!! ***
*** ***
*** The following fiction involves an ***
*** UNDER-18 Obi-Wan in sexual situations ***
*** with his master. If the idea of such ***
*** subject matter disturbs you, you are ***
*** hereby advised to look no further. ***
*** YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. ***
=======
Sixteen
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"Again--and this time, stay alert. You're
losing concentration and leaving your left
side wide open."
"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan breathed deeply and
summoned his strength, found his center in the
Force, and then reignited his 'saber. He stood
with his knees slightly bent, waiting in the
traditional starting pose for the practice
duel. He watched for the first sign of
movement, the signal that the match had begun.
When it came, Obi-Wan immediately drew up his
'saber to block the blow. He managed to throw
enough power behind his return push that he
threw his master back several meters, leaving
Qui-Gon now on the defensive. The pace quickly
accelerated from there.
They'd been going at it for *hours*, it seemed
to the young apprentice, and he was near
complete exhaustion. The Force was the only
thing keeping him on his feet, supplanting the
physical energy he'd long since burned up in
the afternoon's endless drills. Qui-Gon showed
no signs of similar tiredness, leaving the
padawan struggling to match his master's
stamina, determined not to show his weakness
by asking for a rest.
A rare lull in demand for their services had
given them several weeks of peace at home on
Coruscant. "Peace" being an interesting term,
Obi-Wan thought, since to Qui-Gon that seemed
to mean putting his apprentice under a
grueling schedule of physical and mental
exercises. Obi-Wan reported to morning
lectures and classes with the other padawans
and temple instructors, or sometimes was put
into service overseeing the initiates on field
trips or other activities. Afternoons were
spent in seemingly endless sessions of
physical training--sometimes with Qui-Gon,
mostly with other apprentices and knights.
Evenings were his only time for relaxation,
although even then Qui-Gon often wanted them
to work on meditation exercises or other
mental skills together.
He was used to the odd few days back here at
the temple and usually welcomed the chance to
spend time in these familiar surroundings--his
master's familiar quarters. Yet after twenty
days of it, Obi-Wan couldn't *wait* to get
back out on active assignment.
Obi-Wan had to admit there was also a somewhat
selfish aspect to his desire to leave. When
they were out on a mission, he was often close
at his master's side day and night. He'd
become used to their always being together--
the familiar presence of his master close by,
the powerful aura of his living Force that
nearly always was soothing, comforting. Here
at the temple, though, things were different.
Qui-Gon was always busy in some meeting with
the Council. Or he was asked to lend a hand
with teaching an initiate-level class, or
invited to spend the day or a night out with
an old friend.
Obi-Wan realized it was foolish to become so
possessive of his master's attention, but the
feelings were still there inside him, and even
with studious meditation he found it difficult
to keep them completely under control. He
looked forward every evening to finally having
his master to himself at night. And he
similarly disliked waking up in the morning,
as it meant they would soon go off in their
separate ways for most of the day.
*Perhaps it's our bond making me feel this
way. Maybe it's growing stronger, changing
again,* he wondered. After their first year
together, he had wanted the comfort of being
near his master at night. Could it stand to
reason that now he wanted more, he wanted the
comfort of Qui-Gon near him nearly all the
time?
*And maybe that would explain those dreams I'm
having about Qui-Gon, too. Those...really
interesting ones.*
Obi-Wan's train of thought was interrupted by
a terrible burning feeling in his side.
Staggering as he yelped in pain, he discovered
he'd been caught by a direct swipe of Qui-
Gon's saber. Even set at the lowest power
level, it was still hot enough to burn through
his tunic and sear the skin beneath.
Hurt like Hell, too. *What I deserve for
getting so damn distracted!* he chastised
himself.
Qui-Gon turned off his 'saber and sighed,
frowning with obvious disappointment. "You
see? Your left side again."
"I'm sorry. I lost my concentration."
"So I noticed. Nevertheless, I didn't mean to
catch you like that." Qui-Gon walked toward
him. "Stand still, Padawan, let me see."
Gently the elder Jedi helped Obi-Wan remove
his tunic so he could inspect the injury. "Not
too bad. I don't think we'll need to take you
to the infirmary." Qui-Gon pressed his large
hands close to the burn and closed his eyes.
Obi-Wan felt the Force radiating out through
his master's hands and into his body, rapidly
repairing the minor damage.
He also was keenly aware of the warmth of Qui-
Gon's body so close to his own, the scent of
his perspiration, the tingling sensation of
his breath falling against his own damp, bare
skin. The closeness was not a new experience,
but the way it affected Obi-Wan was. It
started to set off those feelings inside him,
the same ones that he had during *those*
dreams. He shivered at the sensation and felt
a hint of fear--what was happening to him? Why
was he feeling so out of sorts, responding to
things in ways he never had before?
"There, that should do it," Qui-Gon startled
him out of his thoughts as he withdrew his
hands. "I pushed you more than I should have
today," Qui-Gon said. "You were doing
excellent until the last few rounds."
Obi-Wan accepted the complement and apology,
neither necessary yet both appreciated. "Thank
you, Master."
"I think it is certainly time to rest for
today. I will see you tonight, Padawan."
"Yes, see you then." Obi-Wan found his eyes
lingering over the sight of his master's body
as he walked away--the broad expanse of his
shoulders, the tight, perfect curves of his
buttocks, so very lightly covered by the thin
leggings he wore for their workout...
Obi-Wan shook his head and sighed. These
feelings were starting to weird him out and
make him wonder if there wasn't something
wrong with him. But right now, his side still
ached slightly from the injury and he was
exhausted. He wanted to get in a decent shower
and a short nap before dinner. He'd worry
about the rest later.
* * *
In the dining hall that evening, Obi-Wan
spotted and joined a group of padawans about
his own age, many of whom he'd had classes
with but he hadn't seen in months--some even
for years until this recent leave at home.
Some of them he'd been spending a little time
with these past few weeks in the morning
lectures and classes, but that was about it.
The truth of the matter was he felt somewhat
uncomfortable in their company--a bit
disconnected, out of touch with the things
they were interested in and wanted to talk
about. Many of them seemed to spend a lot more
time close to home than he and Qui-Gon did--
either their masters spent most of their time
teaching instead of traveling, or they weren't
called to duty as often as Qui-Gon was.
With his long-standing record of success in
the field, Obi-Wan's master was frequently
requested by name when the Jedi were contacted
for assistance. Though the Council was often
chagrined by the Jedi master's seemingly
reckless ways, they could not deny his
effectiveness, nor often refuse to dispatch
him when his presence was requested.
So it was that the longer Obi-Wan spent as
Qui-Gon's apprentice, the less contact he had
with his old friends. They didn't outright
tell Obi-Wan he was not welcome, when he tried
to join them and seek distraction in their
company like now at dinner, but he didn't feel
right at home with them, either.
"You and your master are like, never around,
Obi," the girl he was sitting next to, Eva
Seln, remarked.
"Yeah, I heard some people joking the other
day about how you two probably didn't really
exist," another boy chimed in, who was a few years
younger than the rest of the crowd. Obi-Wan did
not know his name.
"What?" Obi-Wan asked.
"You know, no one ever sees you two around,
but everyone's always hearing about the things
you've done. 'Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stopped the
war in the Delbian Sector. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan
saved the heir to the Throne of Gallag. Qui-
Gon and Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan...' It's
enough to make some people wonder if the
Council just didn't make you two up so that
the rest of us would have some sort of perfect
standard we're all supposed to shoot for."
Many of the others laughed. Obi-Wan tried to
manage a grin, but feeling uncomfortable to be
the focus of such attention he argued, "We're
not perfect. Things don't always go right for
us, just like everyone else." At that point,
to his relief, he spotted Qui-Gon enter the
dining hall by himself. "Look, sorry to go but
Master Jinn's here and I think he wants to
talk to me about something," he partially
stretched the truth, picking up his dinner
tray and getting up to leave.
"Okay Obi. Catch you later," Eva said, and the
others added their own quick good-byes before
getting back to their conversation.
Obi-Wan waited until his master had gone
through the service line and settled at a
small table by himself. As he then approached
the table, Qui-Gon looked up and greeted him
with a questioning, "Obi-Wan?"
"May I join you, Master?"
"Of course. But I don't want to take you away
from your friends."
Obi-Wan shrugged as he sat down, busying his
hands by peeling the fruit he'd chosen for
dessert on his way over. "Actually, I wasn't
really having a good time with them."
"Why not?"
Again he shrugged. "They're mostly talking
about things and people I'm not interested in
or don't know, 'cause I'm not here that much,
I guess. I know I grew up with most of
them...but it feels kind of different now." He
hadn't really had many truly *close* friends
as an initiate, either, except for Bant. And
she was off with her master on a long-term
assignment to one of the Outer Rim sectors, so
he'd only seen her once in the last three
years.
"Do you miss having more contact with people
your own age, more friends?" Qui-Gon asked.
"If you would want to spend more time here,
going through more of the structured padawan
education that some of the others enjoy,
arrangements can be made--"
"No, no, I don't want that. I *like* this
life. It's exactly what I always thought being
a Jedi would be like," Obi-Wan admitted with a
grin. "I want to see all of these different
worlds, and take part in these missions
because I know they're important. And...I like
*your* company, Master. The things we talk
about--politics and history and things like
that...well, I find them more interesting than
gossip about who managed to sneak out of the
temple after curfew."
Qui-Gon smiled. "Then, the matter is settled.
I suppose I should not worry about neglecting
the development of your social skills,
Padawan. You always manage to ingratiate
yourself with everyone from transport pilots
to dukes and courtesans, no matter where we
go. I just don't want you to miss out on the
things most people your age enjoy."
"I'm not. I'm happy. Well, I'll be more happy
when we have another mission."
"Then you'll be pleased to know that we have a
new assignment. We're to go to Rainin and try
to prevent the current political crisis from
escalating to civil war."
"Sounds serious."
"Very. We won't be leaving for a few more
days, but it's going to take that much time to
prepare for the mission ahead. I suspect it
will prove quite a challenge to achieve the
peaceful resolution the Council--and the
current ruling body on Rainin--has hopes for."
Qui-Gon briefed Obi-Wan on the basics of the
assignment as he finished his dinner, and then
the two returned to their quarters for the
night. Obi-Wan's excitement over the prospect
of leaving soon was somewhat dulled by the
long list of texts Qui-Gon told him to read
before they left, on the history of Rainin,
its war-filled past, and the rather involved
social customs the Jedi would be expected to
follow while there. Still, Obi-Wan decided he
could tolerate a few extra hours at the books
if it meant an upcoming adventure.
* * *
That night he had one of those dreams.
The ones that disturbed him--not frightened
him, like the one he'd had when he was
younger, about his master dying in a strange
battle. These just disturbed him, because the
emotions and responses they caused within him
physically were so intense and unexpected.
In this dream--as usual--he was with Qui-Gon,
in his arms as he was so often during the
night. But more than that. Qui-Gon's touch
felt different. It made Obi-Wan's skin tingle,
warmth filling his belly and eventually
traveling elsewhere. Lower. And instead of a
familiar kiss goodnight on the cheek or
forehead, like Obi-Wan was used to, Qui-Gon
kissed him on the mouth, then on his neck,
repeatedly. When he did that it felt *so*
good, the warmth that had settled between his
legs suddenly erupted into a fire, pouring out
of him, consuming him...
And he jerked awake, shaking and shuddering.
His chest hurt from the heavy pounding of his
heart until he was able to calm himself with a
few deep breaths.
But then, as he came back to his senses, he
felt a familiar, warm dampness against
his skin and grimaced. *Not again!* he groaned
mentally. *This is getting really annoying.*
Annoyance spilled over into fear as he
realized he'd been curled up so close against
Qui-Gon, the dampness was seeping through his
thin pants and onto his master's. *Oh,
_Sith!_* he thought, pulling away and sitting
up to get a better look at the situation.
*This is embarrassing. How am I going to
explain this to him? There's no way I can
clean this up without him waking up...*
In fact Qui-Gon was already awakening, either
alerted to his padawan's mental distress or
merely responding to the light of dawn,
starting to come in through the large window
in their bedroom. His eyes opened and he
looked up at the young man, asking in a sleepy
voice, "Obi-Wan? Is something wrong?"
"I..." he started, feeling the blush coming to
his cheeks, averting his eyes before
answering, "I...sort of had an...accident."
"Accident?" Qui-Gon frowned, looking over his
padawan...and then he glanced down, apparently
feeling the damp spot against his thigh. "Oh,
*that* sort of accident," he said with sudden
understanding.
"I'm sorry, Master, I didn't--"
"Of course you didn't, Obi-Wan. Come here."
Qui-Gon pulled the young man down against him
and hugged him. "Don't be embarrassed. You're
a young man and these things are only natural.
There is no shame in our bodies' physical
reactions."
"It's still kinda gross, if you ask me."
"There is nothing 'gross' about our bodies. Do
you really feel ashamed of yours?"
"I...no, I'm not ashamed of my body. Not
exactly."
"Are you ashamed of responses you have
discovered in it? Urges? Pleasures you have
experienced?"
The furious blush he'd felt before returned.
"Kind of. Maybe."
"Padawan, there is nothing for you to be
ashamed of. It is better for you to accept the
pleasure your body can bring to you--through
your own touch, through the touch of others--
than to feel guilt over that which is only
natural." After a few moments of silence, Qui-
Gon continued, "It's time to include this
subject in your studies, I think. There are
some standard texts I want you to spend some
time reading over the next few days. But I
also want you to know that you can ask me
*anything* about this subject, and you're not
to feel embarrassed about it, understood?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Master. Thank you."
"Good." Qui-Gon sat up, and patted Obi-Wan
reassuringly on the shoulder. "Now, I think
you should get cleaned up, and then we'll
start meditation a little early this morning.
It should help you relax. All right?"
Obi-Wan nodded again, relief flooding him that
Qui-Gon was being so understanding about this.
Unable to suppress a smile he sat up and
grabbed his master in a hug, then jumped out
of bed and ran off for the shower.
He thought he heard his master laughing softly
to himself before the door to the bathroom
closed.
* * *
Obi-Wan spent most of the next few days
immersed in his reading. Some of it was in
regard to their upcoming mission, since Qui-
Gon was grilling him every night to see how
well he was absorbing the necessary
information for the trip. The rest of it was
devoted the other--and to Obi-Wan's mind much
more interesting--set of textbooks Qui-Gon had
put on his reading list. He wasn't
*completely* uninformed about the subject of
sex, but most of what he'd learned had been
through snicker-filled, whispered
conversations with others his own age. He'd
never felt the urge nor been given an outright
order to study the matter seriously before,
and the information he was discovering was
sometimes fascinating, sometimes bizarre, and
sometimes downright...well, stimulating.
"I don't believe I've ever seen you so
dedicated to your reading assignments,
Padawan."
Obi-Wan sat up with a start, not having
noticed Qui-Gon slip into their bedchamber. It
was nearly time for sleep, and he was sprawled
out on their bed with his datapad, his
preferred place and position for reading. With
a small blush he said, "Oh, well...this stuff
you gave me to read is...really interesting,
Master."
"Yes, I'm sure." He joined Obi-Wan in bed,
stretching out his long frame and smiling
gently. He looked amused but not disapproving
of his padawan's concentrated interest in his
new studies. "Is there anything you haven't
understood in your reading yet? Anything you
wish to ask me about?"
Obi-Wan shrugged, fighting the lingering
feeling of embarrassment he had about talking
about this subject with his master. But Qui-
Gon didn't seem embarrassed about bringing it
up, so Obi-Wan figured he should try to work
past his unease to prove he was capable of
handling the subject like an adult. "The
technical stuff--how things work physically--
that's not too hard to understand. Even if I
never thought about doing some of those
things, and I don't quite see how someone
would find it pleasurable. But I guess I'll
find out about that someday for myself," he
added with a small grin.
"It's just...well, the emotional aspects of it
all are different...that's what I'm not quite
understanding yet. Attraction and love--
different types of love--and lust--it seems
very important to know the difference between
them. We're supposed to always be in touch
with our emotions as Jedi, I know that...but I
can't quite figure out the difference between
these emotions. At least, how I could tell
them apart...if I thought I was in love with
someone, for instance."
"Yes, that is always a difficult question. And
an important one, as you are wise to notice.
Particularly for a Jedi, as some of these
emotions bring us more in harmony with the
Light Side of the Force...and others, if not
recognized for what they are and kept under
control, can bring us dangerously close to the
Dark." Qui-Gon paused and then asked, "Tell
me, Padawan, if it is not too personal to ask.
Does this question cross your mind because you
have feelings for someone you are confused
about?"
Obi-Wan glanced nervously down at his hands.
Should he really tell him? *If this could be
dangerous, then I probably should. He'll know
what I should do.* Taking a deep breath to
calm his nerves, he then said, "Yes, Master.
I...I've noticed my feelings for you have been
changing, lately. Or I mean, the symptoms of
physical arousal described in these books, I
have those reactions when I'm with you,
sometimes."
"Not around anyone else?"
"No, not that I can think of. I've...well...
had dreams about being with you. And
I've...pleasured myself...while thinking about
you," he admitted before he could lose his
courage.
"You are describing rather classic indications
of sexual attraction, Padawan. Nothing out of
the ordinary."
"So it's not wrong for me to have these
feelings...considering the relationship we
already have?"
"No, of course not, Obi-Wan. I've sensed these
feelings developing in you for sometime; had
they been inappropriate I would have been
quick to discourage you."
That relieved Obi-Wan tremendously, gave him
the confidence to observe, "I was wondering if
it wasn't part of the bonding, another stage
of it. Since you said before that there might
be other changes that would come between us
with time...is this one of them?"
"Yes, I believe you are correct. Come, sit
here with me." Qui-Gon opened his arms, and
Obi-Wan got up and resettled against Qui-Gon's
chest. The closeness immediately washed away
the remainder of Obi-Wan's anxiety, and he
listened with his full concentration as Qui-
Gon continued, "Sexual awakening is a very
important time in a young Jedi's life. And it
is often accompanied by feelings of desire for
one's master, particularly when a bond as is
strong as ours."
Obi-Wan had a strange, somewhat disturbing
vision as he contemplated this. "Did you start
having sexual feelings for Master Yoda,
Master?" He couldn't help but start to laugh
at that image.
"Imp!" Qui-Gon reached up to tug lightly on
Obi-Wan's braid. "I should say not. Though to
be perfectly honest, at the age of fifteen I
did develop a strange desire to rub his ears.
At which point he immediately ordered me to
spend two hours a day in the company of an
appropriately qualified--and human--Jedi
healer. Such surrogates are nearly always
required when a master and apprentice are of
different species. We formed a temporary bond
so that she could guide me through that aspect
of my training. "
Obi-Wan wasn't sure he understood exactly what
Qui-Gon was implying. "Training?"
"Yes, Obi-Wan." The hand which had been toying
with his braid slid down to the loose tail of
hair, and then fell to rest lightly on his
arm. "Texts are all good and well in helping
to explain these things--to an extent. But
true understanding and acceptance of our
sexual nature--and for a Jedi, the ability to
control our desires--this requires a more
direct approach."
"I see," Obi-Wan answered, finding his
heartbeat quickening as he thought about this.
"Will you be...completing this aspect of my
training, Master?"
"As that seems to be the path chosen by the
Force for you, yes. When you are ready, and
that time seems to be close upon us." Qui-Gon
bowed his head, resting it lightly against the
top of Obi-Wan's as he slid his arm around the
boy's waist. The young Jedi reached out
slightly to sense his master's emotions, and
found little resistance to his probe--instead
he found those familiar feelings of
contentment, and now perhaps a hint of...
expectation? A feeling of attraction, similar
to his own?
"You want this too, Master? You share these
feelings?"
"Of course, Padawan. The bond calls me to this
just as it does to you." Obi-Wan had a sense
that there was more his master wanted to say,
but that he was holding back. When he tried to
sense Qui-Gon's emotions again, this time he
was thoroughly blocked from learning anything
more.
"The mission to Rainin must be our first
priority right now, however. We leave tomorrow
morning. I don't want to begin anything until
I know we have some time without other
responsibilities."
"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan knew he was going to
have a rough enough time of it these next few
days, imagining what lay ahead. It left him
slightly dizzy with anticipation, just to
think about the possibilities too much. Yet he
also felt slightly relieved; Qui-Gon seemed to
believe he was ready for this, and he trusted
his master's judgement. But he was glad to
have some time to think about it all first and
mentally prepare himself, the best he could.
He had a feeling, though, that no amount of
thought and meditation was going to completely
prepare him for this particular aspect of his
training.
* * *
Go on to part 3
Feedback craved if you've stayed with me this
far!
sidewinder@fanfiction.net