All the Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes
by sidewinder (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Fandom: Shanghai Noon (Chon Wang/Roy O'Bannon)
Archive: well, if anyone besides me starts writing
for this list, I'll set up an archive. For right now
we ain't got one. You want to post it somewhere,
ask me first.
Warning: SLASH (m/m erotica) But that's what we're
here for, isn't it?
Summary: Roy thinks, drinks, and then takes a
chance. Set around and about the celebration at the
end of the movie.
Author's notes: The title is stolen from my fave Pete
Townshend album...just because it got stuck in my
head and was the anchor that finally helped me put
these words together.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I'm just
borrowing them without permission for a while. The
following is written purely for fun, not for
The celebrations had been going on for hours, and
showed little sign of slowing down before morning.
Roy O'Bannon was working on a light alcohol buzz
and a still heady adrenaline rush, thanks to his
recent escape from certain death. It wasn't every
day a person discovered he was invincible, and on
this particular day Roy felt like a new man, ready
to take on the world.
He wanted to tell Chon about it, to go over all the
details of what had happened in that showdown at
the mission and how it had affected him. And he
wanted to hear all about exactly how Chon had taken
down Lo Fong and saved the princess, too, but they
hadn't had much time alone to talk since then. Too
many other people had been after them about what
had been going down--and thankfully Princess Pei
Pei had spoken up on both of their behalves,
showing them both up to be heroes, not criminals.
Suddenly instead of being wanted by the law, there
was talk about making them both officers of it.
Roy O'Bannon, sheriff of Carson City? The outlaw
had to chuckle at that, but then again things could
be crazy like that out here in the West. You could
be a wanted man one day and a hero the next, as
long as you played your cards right and had a
Roy wandered through the crowds, taking in the
sites and sounds of the railroad workers'
celebration, accepting the offered thanks, food,
and drinks that seemed to come his way with every
new person he met. He could definitely get used to
this hero business, he decided, especially when a
smiling old woman handed him a full bottle of high
quality tequila; where she had gotten it, he had
no idea, but it was as good as a gift from the
gods to his mind.
Even so, after a while he found himself growing
preoccupied with thoughts of where his new friends
had disappeared to. He was fairly certain that if
he could find Falling Leaves again, he could talk
her into more than just a kiss to shut him up this
time around. But Chon's Indian wife had slipped
away right under his nose, lost among the other
revelers dancing, drinking, and generally having a
And Chon...Roy thought he'd seen the former
Imperial Guard and the princess walking off
somewhere together, hand in hand, earlier in the
evening. Roy figured he knew what those two were up
to--and that thought, oddly enough, left Roy
feeling a little...
He wasn't sure, at first. Funny inside...sad and
angry and all twisted up, like something just
wasn't right about them being together to his
mind. Like he was jealous, maybe, as weird as that
seemed to him, but it was the only emotion that
appeared to fit. Not jealous because Chon had scored
with another beautiful girl--Roy thought Pei Pei
was pretty, sure, but he hadn't been planning on
making any moves on her.
No, Roy realized he was jealous that Pei Pei was
taking up all of Chon's attention all of a sudden.
Taking it...away from him.
Roy paused, and contemplated the implications of
that thought. "Shit," he cursed to himself as
understanding dawned, "now just when during all of
this did I get the hots for my partner?" He
wasn't horrified by the idea or anything, just
curious. Had he been too busy and too preoccupied
with the adventure and the gold to notice just how
much he was beginning to like his partner? Really
Roy thought back on the last few days, the moments
and images that stuck out most clearly in his mind.
There was Chon in the saloon, taking on all comers
and fighting like Roy had never seen anyone fight
before. And there was Chon working to free them from
the jailcell, his bare arms, muscles straining and
glistening with sweat as he struggled to bend the
bars to allow them to escape. He could vividly recall
the site of Chon undressing for the bath, revealing a
body perfectly toned and shaped from years of
He wished he could forget the way he'd hurt Chon by
dismissing their friendship to that girl at Goldies',
but that moment too was burned into Roy's memory, a
hurt he'd do whatever he could to make up for somehow,
Oh yeah. With each and every remembrance, Roy grew
more certain of what he was feeling, realized that
an attraction had been there on his side almost
from the start--at least since they stopped
fighting and started trying to help each other.
Maybe it was that Chon was so different from anyone
he'd ever met before; maybe it was that Chon was
the first person he'd met in a long time that
seemed to like Roy for the screw-up he was, not
what Roy could possibly do for him.
Whatever it was, it didn't matter, especially when
at this point Roy figured he didn't have much chance
to do anything about it. What chance did he hold in
winning Chon's attention when his competition was a
Roy walked and wandered through the crowds, musing
over his predicament and working his way through
the tequila. He didn't feel quite so invincible
now, though the alcohol was helping to take the
edge off of his jealousy and disappointment. After
a time he found he'd wandered all the way to the
edge of the camp, up the hillside near the road
back to town. It was a clear night, with an almost
full moon to guide his steps and a sky full of
stars above his head. He stood and watched them for
a time, until he heard the sound of footsteps
nearby. He turned around and his eyes widened to
see who else had apparently wandered out this way.
"Chon? Is that you, buddy?" he called.
The long-haired man looked his way, and seemed
similarly surprised to find he was not alone. "Roy?"
"Yeah." Roy walked over to his friend and asked,
"So what're you doing out here? Why aren't you back
where the party's at?"
"I...wanted some time to think, and it's too noisy
back there," Chon waved back toward the campsite.
"Too many people. I wanted some time alone."
"Oh," Roy answered, enthusiasm dampened a bit at
the "alone" part of Chon's response. "Well, I know
how that goes. I, uh, I can go wander somewhere
else if you're still doing the thinking alone
thing, that's cool with me..."
"No, that's okay."
"You sure?" Roy asked, already turning to leave but
encouraged, slightly, that Chon didn't want him to
"Yes. Please stay."
"Sure, okay," Roy answered nonchalantly, taking a
seat on the ground where he could look back down at
the camp. Every now and then a rocket would
brighten up the dark sky, bursting into glittering
sparkles of light and greeted by cheers and shouts
from the crowd. Chon sat down next to him--close,
closer than two men would normally choose to sit,
and Roy's newly uncovered desire flared a little
He acted quickly to either quench it or see if
there was any chance that he had a chance. "So,
Chon, tell me, what's up with you and the princess?
I saw you two go off together earlier and I figured
you'd be kinda busy with her for the rest of the
evening, if you know what I mean."
"What?" Chon asked, puzzled at first, then slowly
putting together what Roy meant. "Oh...oh, no.
Do not even suggest such a thing! Princess Pei Pei,
she is an honorable woman. I wouldn't...not like
"So are you gonna marry her so that you can, like
that?" Roy pressed, nudging Chon's shoulder.
Chon shook his head. "I'm already married once, not
by choice. I'm not ready to get married again."
"That's smart, you know? No point in tying yourself
down to one woman...or even two women as the case
may be. A man ought to enjoy his freedom. So what
were you out here thinking about?"
Chon shrugged. "Lots of things. The life I left
behind...the one I have now, here. Everything that
has happened." He paused and glanced toward his
"Me? What about me?"
"Do you really want to be partners?"
"Of course I do! We spit on it and everything. And
I don't go back on things, not when I make a sacred
vow like that."
Chon seemed satisfied with that answer and just
smiled in response, giving Roy one of those amazing
smiles of his, and it just did something inside of
him. Roy couldn't bear to look at it for too long,
not if he didn't want to just spill it all out
about how he felt. He took refuge in another draw
on his bottle, the fire of the tequila burning down
his throat offering a welcome distraction. He
offered the bottle to Chon when he was done, but
his companion just shook his head. "No, still
recovering from last time," he explained.
"You sure? Uno mas?"
"No mas," Chon answered. "Definitely no mas."
"All right, suit yourself."
A loud burst of fireworks interrupted the
conversation. Roy was curious to know what else
Chon had been thinking about, but the former
Imperial Guard didn't seem too inclined to talk
about it so Roy didn't push. He was happy just to
sit and share Chon's company, happy to know his new
friend wanted to stick with him--and that his fears
about the princess seemed unwarranted. That was
good; that gave Roy a chance, and some time.
Maybe if he had a little bit more to drink, he'd
work up the guts to take that chance real soon.
They fell into a companionable silence, watching
the fireworks and listening to the pounding drums
and music of the celebration. Roy wasn't sure how
much time passed, except that he was about two-
thirds of the way through the bottle when he
noticed Chon's hand resting on his arm--just a
light touch, but it made him remember how Chon had
reached out to touch him during the bath at
Goldies'. He'd feared it as an invitation that
time, but this time that was exactly what he hoped
Roy turned his head to take a good look at his
friend, studying him for several minutes in the
moonlight. Chon noticed after a few minutes that he
was under scrutiny and turned his head to meet
Roy's gaze. "Something wrong?" Chon asked,
Roy shook his head. "Nothing. You are one beautiful
man, you know that, Chon? Inside and outside,
you're just...beautiful." The words spilled out
without thought, Roy's tongue loosened more so than
usual by the alcohol.
Chon's frown deepened for a moment, then he laughed
a little and declared, "You're drunk, Roy."
"Just drunk enough to say what's on my mind." Roy
paused, suddenly struggling with his words under
Chon's confused stare. "Damn, I don't know how to
say this right. I know how to sweet-talk a lady, but
it's different with a guy, you know?"
"What's different? What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about...I'm talking about this," Roy
said, and before he could lose his nerve he leaned
in and kissed Chon--lightly, briefly, but on the
lips. He pulled back quickly to see Chon's
reaction, but his friend's expression was
infuriatingly blank, revealing no surprise,
delight, or even any feared disgust. Roy drew a
deep breath, then said as evenly as he could, "I'd
like to do that again, but for real this time, and
only if it wouldn't piss you off. If it would I
won't ever do that again, I swear, 'cause I don't
want to lose you as my partner."
Chon smiled. "You wouldn't piss me off, Roy."
"Oh," Roy answered, and then Chon's answer really
sunk in... "Oh!"
The second exclamation didn't completely escape his
lips before Chon silenced him with a kiss, still
gentle but longer than their first. It was long
enough to make Roy squirm, his mind slowly
beginning to process that what was happening was
real, not imagined. This was Chon's breath against
his face, Chon's hands on his body. This was Chon's
hair, under his fingers, tickling his neck as they
pressed closer together. This was the two of them,
kissing and touching each other for the first time
and yet it felt so good, so right, like this was
simply meant to happen, just the way things had
always been meant to be.
One kiss led to another, then another, each more
insistent than the last. Chon surprised Roy with
the intensity of his kisses and obvious desire. It
was like an entirely different man lurked beneath
Chon's placid exterior--one that was all pent-up
fire and passion. Roy liked this person a lot.
"Damn...you taste good..." Roy gasped, finally
pulling back for a moment to catch his breath. Chon
smelled and tasted of leather and sweat, of dirt
and the sweet clean air of the trail, and other
exotic things Roy had never known before.
"You taste like tequila," Chon answered with a
smile that had a much more mischievous edge than
Roy had seen before. "Uno mas?"
"Uno mas..." Roy agreed, leaning in for another
kiss. "Uno mas," he repeated, "and uno mas...and
uno mas here...and there..." each time punctuating
his words with a kiss, moving from lips to cheek to
Chon's neck, all over and then back to those lips
when he needed to taste them once more. They were
sweeter and more intoxicating than any alcohol, and
the fire in his blood left him dizzy, his groin
aching and his head spinning.
Roy's hands slipped out of Chon's hair to his shirt
and vest, blindly fumbling to find the buttons and
clasps. He struggled impatiently with them until
Chon urged his hands away and began undressing
himself. Roy sat back and watched, his eyes fixed
on Chon and the desire now so evident in his dark
eyes, those still smiling lips wet and swollen from
their kisses. Chon slipped off the vest and shirt,
revealing his well sculpted chest and arms. Barely
able to divert his attention away from the sight
before him, Roy numbly worked to unbutton his own
shirt, now watching Chon watching him.
"I feel like a scrawny little prairie dog compared
to you," Roy quipped after yanking his undershirt
off over his head. He was lean and hard from life
on the run, life as an outlaw, but felt entirely
underdeveloped compared to his friend.
But Chon shook his head and reached out, touching
Roy's shoulder. The touch was enough to give Roy
shivers as those warm, callused fingertips caressed
his skin. "You are who you are, Roy. And you are
beautiful, to me."
"Now who's the one who's been drinking too much?"
Roy laughed, giddy as he reached for Chon's chest,
the warm and sweaty skin inviting his touch. God,
he felt good.
"Drunk only from your kisses, maybe," Chon
answered, then he slid his arms around Roy's waist
and pulled them both down to the ground.
This is Heaven, sweet Heaven, Roy decided at that
moment. Complete bliss was nothing more than being
here out under the open sky, half-naked, rolling
around in the dirt with Chon and sharing tequila-
infused kisses. If someone were to come this way
and find them, he didn't care. He doubted he would
notice, he was too lost in the moment, in his
desire, in the thrill of knowing Chon wanted him
just as much as he wanted Chon.
Roy quickly found out that his friend's hands
weren't limited in their skill to the martial arts;
they teased and caressed his body without mercy.
"You learn this at Imperial Guard school, too?" Roy
somehow managed to ask between gasped breaths. Chon
answered with something unintelligible, a string of
mumbled words that didn't sound English. Roy would
have asked for a translation but Chon's hands were
now at his waist, unbuckling his pants, and desire
for any further conversation fled the outlaw's
mind. The first touch of Chon's hand against his
cock and Roy nearly screamed, nearly came right
then and there, he was so wired up. Instead
he fought for control and pushed Chon's hands away
long enough to struggle with his partner's belt and
Soon they were side by side, hands working each other's
erections toward a necessary completion. Roy was back
at the edge in no time and knew it was pointless to try
to hold out any longer. "Harder...harder..." he was
gasping in encouragement, "oh FUCK don't stop don't...
don't...oh yes! Yes! Yes!" Spasms rocked his body as the
climax washed over him, rushed through his blood and out
into the hot, tight confines of Chon's hand. He tightened
his grip on his partner's erection and stroked it more
furiously, eyes locked on Chon's as he watched him
getting closer and closer to climax. It didn't take
long before Chon cried out and Roy felt the warmth
spilling out onto his hand. He just kept stroking,
kept holding him as he shifted closer and kissed
Chon one more time, not letting go of him until his
body stopped trembling from the aftershocks of
Finally, when it was over, Roy pulled back and took
a deep, shuddering breath. He felt completely
drained, entirely spent, and incredibly blissed
out. "Wow..." was all he could manage to say.
"Wow..." Chon repeated in agreement.
Roy rolled onto his back, wanting to stretch out
and savor the moment. "Ow!" he yelped, sitting up
"I think I rolled onto a nail." Roy rubbed his
shoulder where it had collided with something sharp
and painful. He found the large railroad spike half-
buried in the dirt and tossed it away in disgust.
"Maybe we should go somewhere more comfortable,"
Chon suggested in a groggy voice.
"Mmm. Somewhere with a nice bed..." Roy mused, "and
a nice bathtub," he added, rubbing a sticky hand
over his chest and noting they were both pretty
messed up, covered in dirt and sweat and scraped up
from the rough ground. He shimmied his pants back
up his thighs and started searching the ground for the
rest of his clothes. Chon did the same, and soon
they were both about as presentable as they were
going to get after what they'd just been up to.
Roy stood up on slightly wobbly legs and glanced
back down at the camp; things seemed slightly
quieter than before, but the celebrations were
still going on, if not quite as loudly as before.
Maybe other lovers had found each other, wandered
off to quiet corners for private celebrations.
Chon came up beside him, took Roy's hand in his own.
Roy grasped it tightly but said, "You know you can't
be doing that when we're in town; people'll really
start looking at us funny."
"Yeah. Our secret." They met each other's eyes and
both smiled. Roy felt better than invincible now,
like it didn't matter what happened, not one
bit. He had the one thing that was important, and
the rest...well, it would all take care of itself.
"Come on, partner," Chon urged, the mischief back
in his grin, "let's get our horses, saddle up and
Roy laughed. "I'm gonna make a real cowboy out of
you yet, just you wait and see."